Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Chocolate tastes better than it looks on my ass

Today marks two days of success in terms of healthy, balanced eating. I have many, many more sets of two days to go until I reach my goal weight and size -- and many, many more after that to stay at that size and level of health -- but somehow, two days feels like a bit of a triumph.

First of all, I followed the plan. I tracked every single thing I put in my mouth and I was conscious about putting healthy things down the hatch. I even went to a friend's birthday party tonight and managed not to -- as I always think of it -- 'screw it up'. I allotted enough points for four drinks this morning and planned my eating day around the same. I did not partake in any of the desserts at work, including The Most Amazing-Looking Chocolate Concoction Ever.

In short, I ate in a balanced and healthy many, many people do without thinking. My big fear is still that I'm going to eventually get mentally unhealthy about all of this at some point and want to give up, but I'm also starting to think that the point at which I feel that way might be the most important moment of this journey. Clearly, there's something I'm not dealing with and I'm sure it's popping up in other areas of my life whether I realize it or not; if I can manage to find my way over or around the hurdle, or to (and I hate this idea despite believing in therapy for others, but I promised myself I'd do it if it came down to it) get through it with someone's help, I can only assume I'll be a much happier person for it when this is said and done.

But for now, it's time to watch Teen Mom. You know, because that's clearly targeted at women in their mid-30s. Ahem.

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